"I've
learned that people will forget
what you said, people will
forget what you did, but people
will never forget how you made
them feel."
- Maya Angelou
Charm and
Charisma
By Robert L. Cox
Today I'd like to tell you about
a simple step you can take to
make a huge positive change in
both your business and personal
relationships... and how much
faster success will then start
to come to you.
I'm talking about developing a
simple but highly important
trait: charm and charisma. Make
the effort, and you'll have no
trouble following what I call
the "Billionaire Way."
In past ETR messages, we've
talked about some of the top
strategies billionaires use to
succeed. For one thing, they
know how to
create time.
For another, they have developed
the ability to take in their
surroundings more clearly and
completely than
regular Joes.
But there are other things that
set billionaires apart from the
general population.
For instance, most of them are
charismatic individuals - and
their charisma is one more
reason that they are, well,
billionaires.
What is charisma? It is the
ability to make other people
feel good about themselves. It
makes them like you and want to
work with you and do things for
you. Having that kind of support
from the people around you is a
huge help.
The good news? Even the shyest
people can transform themselves
into charismatic charmers - and
skyrocket their success -
because charisma is a learned
skill.
So... how do you do it?
People thirst for acknowledgment
and friendship. Show an interest
in them and they will think more
of you AND want to do more for
you.
You have no idea just how
powerful this can be. Take an
interest in other people's
pursuits, their work, their
homes, and their families. Make
merry with those who rejoice.
Mourn with those who weep. Let
everyone you meet feel that you
regard him or her as a person of
importance.
Try this simple exercise:
Choose three people you don't
normally speak with (perhaps a
co-worker, a neighbor, and a
vendor). Go up to each one and
simply ask how they are today or
how their weekend was. Listen to
them. Be engaged in what they
are sharing with you. If they
respond that something hasn't
gone well, be sympathetic. If
they tell you about something
that went well, be enthusiastic
and say "That's great!"
Develop the habit of doing this
regularly and you'll notice that
it becomes easier each time. You
start with an attitude of being
friendly, interested, and
focused on every person with
whom you are having a
conversation... and, before
long, you will be thought of as
a charming and charismatic
person.
Another exercise:
Choose three people that you see
often. Think of something each
one has done for you recently
and make it a point to thank
them for their efforts. Tell
them how you appreciated their
assistance or help in resolving
an issue or bringing a project
to completion. Tell them what a
good job they did, and pay
attention to the way they react.
I think you'll find that, as the
saying goes, "Flattery will get
you everywhere."
Billionaires know they can't
build their wealth alone. They
learn early on in their careers
that taking an interest in those
around them helps them get where
they want to be.
One billionaire I worked with,
for example, owns the largest
hotel chain in the southeast. He
would have meetings with some of
his hourly workers every month,
a different group each time.
Imagine how these people felt
when they were invited to join
"the big guy" for a meeting
where they could speak freely
about their work, how they were
being treated, etc. Having this
billionaire show a sincere
interest in them had to make
them feel special, right?
And this small, thoughtful
gesture had a big payoff. The
workers returned to their duties
with renewed vigor, knowing
someone cared about them.
Meanwhile, the hotel owner came
away from these meetings with
some great ideas for how to make
some aspect of his business
better, easier, or faster.
Michael Masterson has said,
"Good business is based on
equitable exchanges." We all
want value for our money. Well,
we want value for our feelings,
too. That's why learning to
value those around you and
making them feel appreciated
will bring you rewards.
You may be saying to yourself,
"Wait a minute. I am not
charming, and I don't know how
to be charming... much less
charismatic."
Well, you're wrong.
Think about it. When you were
young, you could usually figure
out a way to persuade your
parents to give you the car for
an important date or buy you
some gizmo you "had to" have.
Right? Granted, your parents are
a bit easier to charm than
anyone else - but they allowed
you to do it because it MADE
THEM FEEL GOOD to do something
for you.
Same goes for practically anyone
in the business world that you
know or will ever meet.
Deep, down inside, you are
charming - and you can learn how
to bring your charm to the
surface more often. All it takes
is practice - starting with the
above exercises.
Want to know something else that
ALWAYS helps? Smiling and being
the first to extend the hand of
friendship.
You do not have to be best
friends with your associates or
vendors... or anyone else.
However, you do need to convince
them that you are sincerely
interested in them. And the
surest way to do that is to
actually be interested in them.
Make the effort to develop your
charm and charisma, and you'll
see what a huge difference it
makes in both your business and
personal relationships... and
how much faster success starts
to come to you.
**********************************************************************
"Hope might be a
virtue, but it is rarely a
strategy."
-
Richard Parson
A Billionaire
Success Strategy
By Robert L. Cox
My experience has given me a VIP
seat in the world of the truly
wealthy. As a business
consultant for the past 30
years, I have had the great
fortune to work with several
individuals who are now
billionaires. That's right ... I
said billionaires, not
millionaires. (Although I have
worked with them, too.) My
client list includes:
·
Roy Speer and Lowell W. (Bud)
Paxson,
co-founders of Home Shopping
Channels - which went on to
become the Home Shopping
Network. Bud also expanded into
PaxNet TV, his own cable
channel. "If a picture is worth
1,000 words," these gentlemen
figured, "we'll make money
putting items on TV 24 hours a
day."
·
Dennis Fontaine,
founder of Discount Auto Parts.
Dennis believed customers would
value the convenience of a
one-stop store rather than
having to go into a dealership
to buy parts and accessories. He
was right.
A billion dollars is a great
benchmark of success. So why not
learn the techniques that have
already proven to be successful?
Because if you have not yet
gained the wealth you deserve,
you need to start doing things
differently.
The first thing you can learn
from these billionaires is that
money has no master. People are
not born to be rich.
None of us say "money" as our
first word. However, we all
become aware early on that the
more money a person has, the
more options and freedoms he can
exercise in his everyday life.
The billionaires I've worked
with all came from humble
beginnings (a factory worker, a
grocer, a clerk, and a shop
assistant). And each was
self-made in his respective
industry. How did these people
succeed where others in the same
location ... with the same
opportunities ... maybe even
with more investment money ...
could not manage the same
success?
Perhaps the most important
reason is that they perceive
more about their environment
than the average person. They
have clarity of vision. They see
the hectic pace of business in
slow motion.
Slow motion? Yes, indeed. They
don't need instant replay,
because they see everything
clearly the first time. They do
not perceive the world as what
they want it to be but rather as
it truly is. They are not
walking around with their heads
in the clouds. No sir! They
actively listen to, watch, and
participate in what is going on
right now.
Some of us have to see, hear, or
read a second, third, or fourth
time before we "get it." Not
these gentlemen. They have
trained themselves to be aware
and open to the reality around
them . And this ability to see
things wholly and clearly upon
first glance is something the
average person doesn't possess.
Think about it. When you watch a
movie, do you catch everything
the first time? Probably not.
Whenever you see a movie more
than once, you realize that
there were things you missed the
first time around - the
foreshadowing, some of the
dialogue, or a glimpse of the
scenery. And if it was a good
movie, that makes the experience
even more pleasing the second
time around.
How about going into a room that
you have been in many times
before? I bet you could go into
any room you're familiar with
and see many items you never
noticed before. (Go ahead. Try
it!)
How is it possible that
billionaires have the best
employees, contracts that favor
their companies, and business
strategies that bring them
tangible financial benefits year
after year? The answer is
simple: They see more in people,
contracts, and the various
business strategies that are
offered them throughout their
careers.
Take Roy Speer's, for example.
Bud Paxson had offered the
concept of a shop-at-home TV
channel to numerous investors.
Where other people couldn't or
wouldn't, Roy saw the big
picture. He listened, perceived,
and acted upon the wavelength of
opportunity that Bud presented
to him. The result ... the Home
Shopping Network, and wealth for
its owners and shareholders.
How do billionaires do this ...
over and over again? It's very
easy: They remove all
distractions from their minds
and concentrate completely on
the immediate situation. They
maintain a clear channel, and
are not distracted by anything
else.
When a billionaire enters a
meeting, it is all about "We are
here to make money." It's not
about the weather. It's not
about what so-and-so is doing
this weekend. It is not about
who has the best record in the
NBA and who will win the
playoffs. (Unless, of course,
that billionaire is Mark Cuban.)
No. The billionaire is ALWAYS
READY to make money.
You should be, too.
Whenever you have a business
meeting, prepare yourself in
manner and dress before
entering. Clear your mind of all
thoughts about who is picking up
the kids or why a project is
stalling. Be in the moment ...
the real moment ... and be open
to the unique energies of that
place and point in time. I
promise that you will come out
of that meeting with more
clarity and more purpose.
Imagine your overall strategy to
success in the same way. Intend
to consciously see more clearly
... listen more intently ... and
continually process your
environment for what it is, not
what you hope it to be.
Nothing wrong with hope. God
bless us all, as we do need hope
in our lives. However, hope is
not a strategy to success.
Today's Action Plan:
To have a different result, you
must do things differently. And,
as I said before, if you have
not yet gained the wealth you
deserve - or the health or the
options or the freedom - you
need to do things differently
... and soon. A good way to
start? Work on developing the
billionaire's ability to
actively listen to, watch, and
participate in the immediate
situation.
**********************************************************************
"Time rushes by
and yet time is frozen."
-
Helen Prejean
Shave Years Off
the Time It Takes to Succeed
By Robert L. Cox
I told you that one technique
billionaires use to secure their
financial futures is to be
acutely aware of their
circumstances. Billionaires
never miss a thing, which means
they never miss out on
opportunities to build their
wealth.
Billionaires have also managed
to grow their bank accounts by
doing something that may sound
impossible: They know how to
create time. I'm sure I don't
have to remind you that time is
a commodity that is often taken
for granted. And when it's gone,
it's really GONE.
But billionaires practically
have a clock in their heads - a
clock that they are in complete
control of.
Create Time and You'll Create
Money
We all have the same amount of
time, don't we? Sure we do. We
all have a measly 24 hours in a
day ... 168 hours in a week ...
8,736 hours in a year. But a
billionaire uses those hours
much more efficiently than most
people.
Want to know how a billionaire
creates time? Let's look at a
standard 40-hour workweek.
Here's one simple trick most
billionaires use: They arrive at
work early and leave late.
Michael Masterson has been
encouraging you to do the same
for years! And that time really
adds up.
Just think ... if you worked
three more hours a day, five
days a week, that's 780 hours a
year. Which translates into 19.5
workweeks of additional
productive time. Simply stated:
Come in an hour early, eat lunch
at your desk, and stay an hour
later. In less than four years,
you will have worked more than
regular nine-to-fivers work in
five years.
And if, in addition to arriving
early and leaving late, you work
eight hours on Saturdays ... add
another 416 hours of productive
time (or 10.4 business weeks) to
your year.
And in five years, you'll have
created nearly eight years of
productive work.
Imagine how much closer you'll
be to your goals if you can
manage to squeeze the equivalent
of three additional years into
your five-year plan.
Do billionaires do this? I've
worked with many, so I can
emphatically say YES THEY DO.
They also find other creative
ways to make time their
benefactor.
For example, one billionaire I
know (who owns the largest
privately held hotel chain in
the Southeast) started by living
in one of his first hotels. I'm
talking over 20 years ago. His
current unassuming office
doubled as his residence until
he got married in his late 50s
and began having children.
Really. Until that time, he
didn't own a home ... even
though he could have purchased
an entire community!
How did living in his office
create time? Easy. By combining
home and office back in the
early 80s, he was ahead of his
time (no pun intended). It was
clear to him (as it is to the
many people who telecommute or
have a home office today) what a
time-saver ... not to mention
convenience ... this is. All he
had to do to begin his workday
was wake up and walk over to his
desk.
It takes time (and money) to
commute. It takes time to
separately manage (pay rent,
utilities, clean, etc.) a home
and an office. Why not wrap them
together and save that time?
Another way this billionaire
created time was to hold all
meetings at his office or on the
premises of another one of his
hotels. He began doing this
early in his career and
continues to this day. Think
about it. If your vendors,
partners, and associates travel
to YOUR office, they are
spending their time, not yours.
Meanwhile, you can be completing
a transaction or sealing a deal
with a phone call. No traffic
worries. No need to go searching
for an unfamiliar address.
Billionaires are also great at
creating time by making sure
they don't waste a minute.
They're on time and prepared for
meetings - and expect the same
of everyone else in attendance.
And they stay on point. No idle
chatter or wandering off into
directions not pertinent to the
subject at hand.
Focus, Focus, Focus
Everything always takes longer
than you think it will. (And
that's a waste of time you could
be using to close deals, design
products, or make sales.)
Don't believe me? Try this
simple exercise:
First, estimate how long it
usually takes for you to do the
following every morning:
·
brush your teeth
·
shave (if applicable)
·
shower/bathe
·
do your hair
·
apply lotion, cologne/perfume,
etc.
·
get dressed
Now, time yourself as you
actually do these things.
But I want you to follow some
ground rules: Focus only on what
you're doing, and don't allow
any interruptions. Don't take
that cellphone call. Turn off
the news or sports channel. Ask
your spouse or significant other
to not speak to you during this
exercise. Don't sip your juice,
drink your coffee, or grab a
piece of toast. You are going to
be "in the moment" of getting
ready for work.
Okay. How did you do? (Be
honest.) I'm guessing it took
less time than it usually does.
By following the ground rules -
by focusing only on what you
were doing - you created time.
The point of this exercise is to
illustrate that we tend to waste
more time than we create.
But maintaining uninterrupted
focus (as you just did in the
above exercise) enables you to
sharpen your use of time. And
the extra 10 or 20 minutes you
create can then be used to add a
contact to your personal network
... get started on that piano
composition you've dreamed of
writing ... or draw up the plan
for your next business venture.
Billionaires utilize time
brilliantly to advance their
projects and goals. To create
that billionaire mindset - and
get closer to a billionaire bank
account - you need to emulate
them. Take control of your time
and you will get where you are
going more quickly ... and make
more money.
**********************************************************************
Networking Tip: The Elevator
Pitch
By Robert L. Cox
Successful individuals are
first, last, and always
salespeople. They are constantly
selling themselves and their
ideas to investors, management,
co-workers, vendors, and even
their families.
An opportunity to sell yourself
and/or your ideas can come up on
the subway, in the checkout line
at the grocery store, after your
yoga class - just about
anywhere. To be ready to make a
useful connection at any time,
it's a good idea to be prepared
with a short (one minute is
ideal) self-promotional speech.
Known as an "elevator pitch"
(because you can deliver it in
the time it takes for a short
elevator ride), it is meant to
engage the interest of a
potential contact/prospect.
Aside from introducing yourself
and what you do, the elevator
pitch has three important
components:
1.
What you can offer the other
person
2.
What you can offer the other
person... and
3.
What you can offer the other
person
As with any sales pitch, make
sure your "offer" is about the
benefits it has for the
listener. The goal is to
convince the other person to
want to do business with you.
Practice is crucial to
delivering your pitch in a
concise and effective manner.
Write it down. Read it out loud.
Commit it to memory. Then, while
looking in the mirror, practice,
practice, practice. Remember,
one minute is the length you're
aiming for, so don't forget to
time yourself.
Here's how to deliver your
elevator pitch to a likely
contact/prospect:
·
Have your business card in an
easily accessible place.
·
Make eye contact and smile.
·
Introduce yourself. Ask the
individual what he does for a
living. Now... it's "show time"!
·
Present your pitch - with
enthusiasm - in one minute.
Ed. Note: Bob Cox is co-founder
of the first TV shopping network
and the author of
The Billionaire Way.
Listen to Robert's Power Surge
Message next Wednesday and
you'll quadruple your chances of
meeting all your goals this
year. Join over 700 ambitious
Early to Risers who receive his
inspiring, motivating and
energizing advice every week as
bona-fide members in ETR's
Total Success Achievement
Program.
**********************************************************************
"An unfortunate thing about this world is that the good
habits are much easier to give
up than the bad ones."
- William Somerset Maugham
12 Bad Behaviors That Could Be
Holding You Back
By
Bob Cox
Lots of people bite their
nails... chew with their mouths
open... swear like sailors...
whine when they don't get their
way. If you're aware that you
have one of these bad habits,
you're probably taking measures
to change it. But here's
something you might be surprised
to learn: You could have bad
habits you're not aware of that
could be preventing you from
achieving your goals.
Many years ago, I needed to
install a new phone system in my
office. The new system would
make it easier for people in the
company to interact with
clients. Plus, the system's
conference feature was going to
enable us to speak with
colleagues and clients all over
the country. It may sound like a
small thing, but getting this
system installed was going to
help me achieve my goals of
growing my business.
Roy Speer - who was one of the
inspirations for
The Billionaire Way
- recommended a
specific vendor for the phone
system. But when I contacted the
vendor, he acted like he was
doing me a "favor" by speaking
to me. This set me off. Because
of his attitude and approach, I
didn't want to work with him.
And after I got done yelling at
him, he didn't want to work with
me either. So I was back to the
drawing board, looking for
another vendor.
When I told Roy my version of
the story, he didn't agree with
how I'd handled the situation.
He patiently showed me how my
negative behavior delayed the
result I was after: getting a
new phone system installed. And
by delaying that, I was impeding
the overall progress of my
business.
Roy taught me four valuable lessons:
1.
Carry your strength behind you
and call on it only when
appropriate. Do not wear it like
a shield in front of you that
pushes people away.
2.
Whether speaking on the phone or
in person, assume you are being
tape-recorded and govern
yourself accordingly.
3.
Being too aggressive can
alienate people. And that is the
exact opposite of what you want
to do. Rather, you want to bring
people to you for their
guidance, assistance, ideas, and
services. Who wants to be around
someone who seems too intense
and aggressive? No one!
4.
I used to be "over the top" and
easily triggered to come right
at you, almost in your face. I
thought I was being passionate
about my beliefs. And how could
that be offensive? Well, when
you exhibit too much intensity
in your words, demeanor, deeds,
and actions it can come across
as aggression. But I have since
learned to cultivate a less
offensive approach to dealing
with people and handling
situations. And it has
undoubtedly prevented me from
slowing down my own rate of
success.
Now if you think you're exempt
from the success-inhibiting
behaviors I'm talking about
here, you're wrong. We ALL have
some behavior or personality
trait that could use some work.
Identify the Habits You Want to
Change
Think about the behaviors that
annoy you in other people. These
are often the same ones you
should be avoiding. Off the top
of my head, I can think of 12
common behaviors that keep
people from achieving the
success they deserve:
impatience, anger,
procrastination, being
defensive, being critical, being
negative, being too controlling,
being too shy, being too
aggressive, being inflexible,
not being punctual, having a
hard time making decisions.
The first step to identifying
behaviors you want to change is
to look at your behavior
patterns HONESTLY.
Like I said, I dismissed my
aggressive behavior as an
expression of my passionate
nature. It took two incidents to
get me to realize it was a
problem and that I needed to
make a change. The first was the
conversation I had with Roy
Speer about the phone vendor.
The second was when my wife,
Karin, kindly mentioned that I
sometimes came across as
"intense."
So take a good hard look at your
behaviors. Are you really the
perfect angel you think you are?
Probably not. Pinpoint the
behaviors that could be holding
you back and commit to
eliminating them from your life.
Change isn't easy. But if you
work on changing your bad
behaviors, you can accomplish
your goals that much faster.
Remember: There is a difference
between
learning what to change
and
implementing the changes.
And once you've implemented the
changes, you must
sustain them.
Over a period of time,
sustaining your new and positive
behavior will become second
nature. You may not lose the
anger, aggression, impatience,
or controlling habit
altogether... but you will be
aware of it and thus can quickly
"nip it in the bud."
3 Tips to Help You Banish Your
Bad Behaviors
Tip #1:
"Check" your emotions at the
door, just like you would check
your coat before going into a
party. You don't want to bring
emotional baggage into the
office, into meetings with
co-workers and clients, or to
social and networking events.
Tip #2:
Train yourself to BE IN THE
MOMENT when working on your
goals or when you're with
people. Don't think about your
upcoming deadlines, what to cook
for dinner, or the weekend's
plans.
Tip #3:
DON'T OVERSCHEDULE yourself.
This will reduce impatience,
irritability, and the feeling of
being rushed.
Your 14-Day Self-Improvement
Plan
Over the next two weeks:
-
Ask others to support you in this effort. Tell your
"support team" (family,
friends, or co-workers) what
you are working on and ask
for their feedback. Be
willing to listen to and
learn from their comments
and suggestions.
It is normal to "relapse"
occasionally into your old
behavior patterns. Simply
recommit to changing those
habits and go through the same
14-day process.
[Ed. Note: Bob Cox is the creator of
The Billionaire Way.
He's also the voice of ETR's
Total
Success Achievement Program,
which aims to help you get
out of debt... lose 10
pounds... start a profitable
business... and blast
through any obstacle along
the way. We'll provide you
with weekly motivational
e-mail messages,
twice-monthly goal-setting
teleseminars, and proven
strategies for bypassing
common obstacles along the
way.
These article appear courtesy of
Early To Rise, the Internet’s
most popular health, wealth, and
success e-zine. For a
complimentary subscription,
visit
http://www.earlytorise.com.
